Do you say “I’m fine” when someone asks how you are doing? Are you fine? Why not say “struggling a bit today” or “I’m great! I’ve had an amazing day!”? Why do we feel the need to tell everyone we are fine? Are we pretending to be ok when we aren’t? Why? Will we feel judged if we share our real feelings? These are questions I’ve been asking myself today. I’m an overthinker. This whole Coronavirus turns us overthinkers a tad crazy. Let me just tell you about my trip to the grocery store.
If you read my previous blog, you know I struggle from anxiety. I was a bit on edge going out anyway with all of the crazy people. I get to the door of the grocery store and a lady is yelling at another lady for not giving someone else her cart. Anxiety goes up a little. I go in, start my shopping (without a list because who knew what would actually be in the store), and it happens. My face itched, I (GASP) touched my face to scratch. Do you have any idea how hard it is not to touch your face?? I kept doing it. My overthinking brain was self diagnosing and my throat started to itch. By the time I got to check out, my heart was racing. Am I being ridiculous? Ummm yeah 100% but my body doesn’t know that. I’m having a purely physical reaction to my overthinking. The cashier asks how I’m doing, I say “I’m fine”. As I start walking to the van, it’s getting harder to breathe and I know my crazy butt is getting close to a panic attack. I got in the van, messaged my tribe how ridiculous I was being, and took a deep breath.
I’ve learned that you can bring yourself out of those anxiety filled moments by focusing on the real. Count, take a deep breath, reach out to a friend, look around you. Look for something you can touch, feel, smell, see. Ground yourself. You can pull yourself out of it, just like your body tried to pull you in it.
Sharing things like this (especially in a public blog) can be extremely scary. I’m being my most vulnerable self. Why can’t we all share how we really are? Why do we pretend to be fine?
Will people walk away if they know who we really are? Truthfully, yes some will. The one’s who see your heart and truly care about you won’t. “Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter, don’t mind”. I struggle, we all do. If we were all a bit more honest, maybe people wouldn’t feel so alone in their struggles.
We all need that safe place to share our struggles. If you haven’t found your safe place, reach out to me. I’m here.
XOXO
Whitney
Embracing The Curls 